Social Networking

Disclaimer: There are no pretty breaks in paragraph and logical flow may not be present in this blog. Beware! =)

What is social networking? Is it just a way to keep in touch and spy on ex boyfriends and frienemies? Or could it be a hugely resourceful stomping ground of people interconnected by (un)common interests as well as (dis)similar views and thoughts?  I contemplate the meaning behind the term because my boyfriend Kevin is not a social networker and he, along with tons of other people, doesn't understand the draw.  Many resolve that I am wasting my time and procrastinating on the internet while I could be doing something productive, and I'm just snooping around in other people's business. This is true! BUT, this statement takes away from the fact that the novelty of the internet and the web woven of contacts and connections has opened innumerable doors and windows for me.  I have reconnected with people who are so similar to myself that it's uncanny, but they have new and different interests and hobbies that point me in a new direction that I wouldn't have gone down had I not rekindled a friendship with this person.  Very vague, Marla.  Can you give us an example of what you mean? I most certainly can!  Today, I was registering for my second semester at UNM without a lot of directive help from my adviser that I waited 45 minutes to meet with, and I was desperate to get a better selection of classes than I had the previous semester because I felt like they were just filler classes and not really stimulating in the least bit. I was panic stricken because my silly self had misinterpreted 12 am on Dec 2nd to mean noon today and not midnight of last night and the classes I wanted were disappearing fast!  I did the best I could on my own and then proceeded to contact some resourceful and knowledgeable friends of mine that I keep in fairly close contact with on Facebook (thank you tons Abbey and Roxie R., you saved my scholarly life!).  Lo and behold, I was pointed in the right direction to solve my problem and relieve a huge stressor in my life.  This brings me to the topic of how much using of your friends is appropriate? The phrase is often said, "he just used me for my <insert endowment of awesomeness here>" and it portrays an image of a person who is selfish and scavenging through friends to find the best things they have to offer, vehemently steal them away leaving the person blind sided in despair!! <maniacal laughter ensues> but what on Earth would you want a friend for if they had nothing positive to offer you?  The thought comes to mind that you must offer something in return, right? I don't know exactly what I offer in return to my friends aside from comic relief and unwavering loyalty (shameless plug) but I'm curious if I should feel guilty having been so spoiled from the amazing people that I know?  Facebook undoubtedly opened the doors for Abbey to start the book club and to invite me and change our humble little lives indefinitely!  Abbey and I have a lot in common but I feel like she is brilliant and I look up to her in so many ways!  She is an inspiration to me and I will gobble up all of the inspiration she offers incessantly in hopes that her inspiration fountain never runs dry!  But am I absorbing too much? Am I unbalancing the scales of friendship? This is a hugely important topic to me because when my friendships go awry (which happens fairly often unfortunately) it's because I feel as though I am giving more than I am receiving and that I am under-appreciated, etc.  But in friend world, isn't it a super sticky subject to bring up when the other friend isn't pulling their weight? In boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife world it's not a sticky subject because you know that dude(tte) loves you and wants to make you happy and make things work so they stick around even with all of your other-worldly demands, but when it comes to girlfriends it is an issue to tip-toe around because we as females I think are natural to assume we are in righthood at all times. We also have been trained to be overly competitive with other females and a constructive and friendly criticism is quickly misconstrued into an evil betrayal.  The method to the madness of keeping friends seems to be just to make things undeniably wonderful at all times and never let them go bad.  Be proactive on the things that you do or say to ensure that you are not overstepping your boundaries or slacking your friendly responsibilities.  Doesn't it feel so different having girlfriends as an adult than it did as a kid? My best friend growing up which I hate to admit is far, far, far away from being my best friend now, and I used to be able to tell each other everything that was wrong and work out any and all problems through communication but in my adulthood, any and all times I have attempted to say what's on my mind I have been brutally rebuffed.  The friendship that I thought was so iron-clad and infallible was soon on the edge of a cliff ready to slip into oblivion, and then I apologized for being such a ninny and retracted all of my issues so that a band-aid could be placed on the situation and I would try not to trip as I walked away with my tail between my legs and my head hung down low.  Maybe I'm doing it wrong?  
All I know from this mindless and crazy rant thus far is that social networking is great in order to find ambitious, knowledgeable, and resourceful friends that are willing to help you in a jam, and that being friends with females is much more difficult than it used to be.  Upon pondering the subject of fallen out friendships, I realize that I, to my own surprise, am much too passive due to (a. the responses I've gotten with confrontations with female friends in the past and (b. my training at T-mobile turned me into a doormat drone that had to put its most amiable face forward at all times and accept the abuse of the customer regardless of their tenacity and ruthlessness.  What I mean by this is, that I don't say anything when my "friend" does something that upsets me (not to them anyways, but Kevin sure gets an earful!) and I continue to accept the mistreatment with a smile until I can't take it anymore and I sneak out of their life without a trace (Facebook makes things like that much easier!).  This is not the proper way of managing things in any aspect, but I've been conditioned to this response.  We need two to tango and we are both dancing, just not together.  So we need to open a strong line of communication with each other.  I really don't mean to be such an advocate for Facebook but isn't it easier to tell people things over the internet? Yes, but on that same token, internet confrontations are notorious for giving people balls of steel and they end up taking this too far (I know, I've Facebook fought before and the gloves come OFF!).  Facebook is not the place to air your dirty laundry as much as it should be a meeting place for people with positive attitudes and a good head on their shoulders.  It's a good way to see someone for who they really are (they can only put on airs for so long) and in turn, you are able to weed out the individuals that you may not see yourself meshing with quite so well.  I think it's an integral tool to fostering fruitful relationships should they be platonic or more serious.  I am also a computer nerd/junkie so that may not be surprising to hear from me, but what I do know is that I have been able to reunite (or be it unite for the first time) with some really fantastic females recently via Abbey's ingenious Book Club and I have been invited to an environment where we appreciate each other's inputs and want to know more about one another.  We feel as though we operate as a whole unit and that every person involved is imperative to our success.  I have my own problems with friendship and relationships, but when I'm with the girls of the book club I feel as though I belong and that I have found females who are open-minded and accepting of me for who I really am (I obviously don't hold back much, you could say I'm an open book! <wink>).  Abbey's goal is to change the world's image of females and how they interact with one another leading by example.  I came into the book club thinking Abbey was cool and I love to read and talk a lot, but I have luckily been let in on a secret world of so much more!  Our vision won't reach everyone, but we'll be damned if we don't try!
-Miss Marla <3