One of my all-time favorite bands is Arcade Fire. I love them because in a world where all music blends together, their sound sticks out. I love them because the lead singer and I grew up within two miles of each other and even attended the same middle school for a year (and damn do I wish I would have known then what I know now!!). But most of all, I love them because out of any other band they show how hard work pays off and how the thing that you're the most passionate about doesn't have to go perfectly the first time you try it. Here's why:
During their first ever show as a band, the lead singer and keyboardist got in a massive fight (which started as verbal and eventually turned physical) and the band broke up mid-set. They all walked away thinking they'd failed as a band and would never make it anywhere past that one ill-fated show. Thankfully, for fans like me, they resembled themselves and wound up better and stronger than ever before.
I'm hoping the same happens with us.
I love this book club. I love how we can all sit in a room and talk for hours and it feels like no time has passed at all. I love the enthusiasm of people who are genuinely interested in not only the literature itself, but on the fellow members in the room, meeting people you may have never met otherwise and going outside of your comfort zone. For me, it's been an opportunity to reconnect with high school besties, meet amazing new people, and read great books.
And for the most part, everyone else feels the same way. But like my favorite band with the keyboardist who just couldn't get with the program, Reading Between The Wines can't quite capture the hearts of everyone. And that's hard.
When it's your dream, it's easy to assume that it's everyone's dream and realistically, that's probably unfair. But whether this book club is wildly successful or is just a fun thing to do with friends and to meet new people, I will consider it a success. Expanding your horizons is never a waste of time, making friends is never a waste of time, and helping other people is never a waste of time. When all is said and done, not everyone will like everything and ultimately those of us who are invested in this have to write it off as their loss.
If a band can break up mid-set during their very first show and be okay, then we can too! I believe in our goals, our mission, and our members! Reading Between The Wines has a long, happy future ahead, so get on board or get out of our way!
~Abbey
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Marlliver's travels
I admire the folks who refer to changes in their lives as chapters. After considering the term, half drunk on a plane to Miami at an elevation of 39,000 feet, I decide that I like the connotation and shall now refer to changes in my life as endings of chapters and beginnings of new ones. Who says you must retain the exact same group of friends throughout your entire life and put up with them because you've "known them forever"? I had a conversation with kev recently about how I identify myself as a nomad when it comes to friends. I am progressive, I don't like to stay in one spot for too long unless it should be the perfect spot. I am happy to announce that at a spritely yet exhausted 26 years old I have come to the realization that I am happy with the people that surround me and my innate virgo need to please others should be securely fastened and tucked safely into the overhead compArtment when The going gets ugly! Shit, after another sip of my in flight spirit I've forgotten the subsequent point I wanted to make. It was an excellent one, or so the booze led me to believe. Well anyway, letting go is much harder than holding on. Letting go is NOT the easy way out. Some people, I think, might just be the type that go with the bare minimum in friendship and give u just enough to keep holding on, or they know that the good ole days were so fantastic that you'll never consider abandoning them. But with age and vigil observations I have learned that nobody enjoys this type of partnership and the thrill and liberation of letting go is much more satisfying than waiting around for an absolution. Absolution. I learned that word from the movie titanic. Old lady rose talked about it and I instantly understood the meaning and the fact that no one appreciated waiting around in limbo. I wonder if e little in flight free headphones colors of blue and red have any relation to the political parties? I'm not well informed on the subject but I know one of e colors corresponds to the left. I've come to learn that the views I have in this world are quite similar to those that people categorize as left. I don't get offended when people stereotype me because I realize it is human nature to categorize and compartmentalize one another, but I am also very proud to know in my heart that I've beat many statistics and snooty assholes can kiss my ass. I don't really know yet what I'm meant to do in this world and. This life. I know I want. To teach and spend timed with children. I want to travel an learn a smorgasbord of foreign languages. I want to act and share my comedy/sense of humor with the world. I keep reading these books that speak to me and I become curious if writing should be something to attempt. I particularly enjoy learning of reporters turned novelists and I feel as though the stories I have in my head and my experiences must be interesting to someone! What is yor extremely unique, intelligent, and individualistic life for if not to showcase your talents and acquire all the praise and recognition fathomable so that when u die, you feel accomplished. Providing for and raising your family is no lackluster feat, but it's expected of everybody regardless of intelligence, talent, and merit, so WITH shaping and molding the minds of our future generations and living happily eve after with our spouses, what else are you capable of? What would utterly an completely fulfill your dreams??
Sunday, January 15, 2012
"Why I Get To Be Picky" By Danielle Thal
About a month ago, our book of the month was Babbitt, by Sinclair Lewis. This book started a bit of a debate amongst our members as it was quite possibly one of the most boring books I have had to read since I graduated high school! Granted, my review of Babbitt is not valid because I never got past chapter two: Babbitt has breakfast with his family. A question was posted on our group Facebook: if you don't like the book that month, do you give it up or do you suck it up and finish it. I think you can guess what option I chose.
And here is why: at that time I had about 60 research papers to grade. Research papers written by 12 year olds. I had 70 graphic organizers and 70 quizzes. My stack of grading that weekend was literally over six inches tall. That was a month ago and those assignments have been graded, returned, and forgotten about. One month later and I have about 60 project reports, 35 quizzes, and maybe 15 projects that have been collecting dust, just waiting for me to grade them and hang them on a giant refrigerator somewhere. The solution seems simple: quit assigning so much work, make them watch movies and do word searches. If only good teaching were that easy!
So my point is, with all the words I have to read in a given day, I reserve the right to be picky. I don't get to choose not to read for work or school, which means I get to choose what I read for fun. If a book is not interesting to me, I have no problem putting it down and never picking it up again. Life is just too short to read boring books!
And here is why: at that time I had about 60 research papers to grade. Research papers written by 12 year olds. I had 70 graphic organizers and 70 quizzes. My stack of grading that weekend was literally over six inches tall. That was a month ago and those assignments have been graded, returned, and forgotten about. One month later and I have about 60 project reports, 35 quizzes, and maybe 15 projects that have been collecting dust, just waiting for me to grade them and hang them on a giant refrigerator somewhere. The solution seems simple: quit assigning so much work, make them watch movies and do word searches. If only good teaching were that easy!
So my point is, with all the words I have to read in a given day, I reserve the right to be picky. I don't get to choose not to read for work or school, which means I get to choose what I read for fun. If a book is not interesting to me, I have no problem putting it down and never picking it up again. Life is just too short to read boring books!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Social Networking
Disclaimer: There are no pretty breaks in paragraph and logical flow may not be present in this blog. Beware! =)
What is social networking? Is it just a way to keep in touch and spy on ex boyfriends and frienemies? Or could it be a hugely resourceful stomping ground of people interconnected by (un)common interests as well as (dis)similar views and thoughts? I contemplate the meaning behind the term because my boyfriend Kevin is not a social networker and he, along with tons of other people, doesn't understand the draw. Many resolve that I am wasting my time and procrastinating on the internet while I could be doing something productive, and I'm just snooping around in other people's business. This is true! BUT, this statement takes away from the fact that the novelty of the internet and the web woven of contacts and connections has opened innumerable doors and windows for me. I have reconnected with people who are so similar to myself that it's uncanny, but they have new and different interests and hobbies that point me in a new direction that I wouldn't have gone down had I not rekindled a friendship with this person. Very vague, Marla. Can you give us an example of what you mean? I most certainly can! Today, I was registering for my second semester at UNM without a lot of directive help from my adviser that I waited 45 minutes to meet with, and I was desperate to get a better selection of classes than I had the previous semester because I felt like they were just filler classes and not really stimulating in the least bit. I was panic stricken because my silly self had misinterpreted 12 am on Dec 2nd to mean noon today and not midnight of last night and the classes I wanted were disappearing fast! I did the best I could on my own and then proceeded to contact some resourceful and knowledgeable friends of mine that I keep in fairly close contact with on Facebook (thank you tons Abbey and Roxie R., you saved my scholarly life!). Lo and behold, I was pointed in the right direction to solve my problem and relieve a huge stressor in my life. This brings me to the topic of how much using of your friends is appropriate? The phrase is often said, "he just used me for my <insert endowment of awesomeness here>" and it portrays an image of a person who is selfish and scavenging through friends to find the best things they have to offer, vehemently steal them away leaving the person blind sided in despair!! <maniacal laughter ensues> but what on Earth would you want a friend for if they had nothing positive to offer you? The thought comes to mind that you must offer something in return, right? I don't know exactly what I offer in return to my friends aside from comic relief and unwavering loyalty (shameless plug) but I'm curious if I should feel guilty having been so spoiled from the amazing people that I know? Facebook undoubtedly opened the doors for Abbey to start the book club and to invite me and change our humble little lives indefinitely! Abbey and I have a lot in common but I feel like she is brilliant and I look up to her in so many ways! She is an inspiration to me and I will gobble up all of the inspiration she offers incessantly in hopes that her inspiration fountain never runs dry! But am I absorbing too much? Am I unbalancing the scales of friendship? This is a hugely important topic to me because when my friendships go awry (which happens fairly often unfortunately) it's because I feel as though I am giving more than I am receiving and that I am under-appreciated, etc. But in friend world, isn't it a super sticky subject to bring up when the other friend isn't pulling their weight? In boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife world it's not a sticky subject because you know that dude(tte) loves you and wants to make you happy and make things work so they stick around even with all of your other-worldly demands, but when it comes to girlfriends it is an issue to tip-toe around because we as females I think are natural to assume we are in righthood at all times. We also have been trained to be overly competitive with other females and a constructive and friendly criticism is quickly misconstrued into an evil betrayal. The method to the madness of keeping friends seems to be just to make things undeniably wonderful at all times and never let them go bad. Be proactive on the things that you do or say to ensure that you are not overstepping your boundaries or slacking your friendly responsibilities. Doesn't it feel so different having girlfriends as an adult than it did as a kid? My best friend growing up which I hate to admit is far, far, far away from being my best friend now, and I used to be able to tell each other everything that was wrong and work out any and all problems through communication but in my adulthood, any and all times I have attempted to say what's on my mind I have been brutally rebuffed. The friendship that I thought was so iron-clad and infallible was soon on the edge of a cliff ready to slip into oblivion, and then I apologized for being such a ninny and retracted all of my issues so that a band-aid could be placed on the situation and I would try not to trip as I walked away with my tail between my legs and my head hung down low. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
All I know from this mindless and crazy rant thus far is that social networking is great in order to find ambitious, knowledgeable, and resourceful friends that are willing to help you in a jam, and that being friends with females is much more difficult than it used to be. Upon pondering the subject of fallen out friendships, I realize that I, to my own surprise, am much too passive due to (a. the responses I've gotten with confrontations with female friends in the past and (b. my training at T-mobile turned me into a doormat drone that had to put its most amiable face forward at all times and accept the abuse of the customer regardless of their tenacity and ruthlessness. What I mean by this is, that I don't say anything when my "friend" does something that upsets me (not to them anyways, but Kevin sure gets an earful!) and I continue to accept the mistreatment with a smile until I can't take it anymore and I sneak out of their life without a trace (Facebook makes things like that much easier!). This is not the proper way of managing things in any aspect, but I've been conditioned to this response. We need two to tango and we are both dancing, just not together. So we need to open a strong line of communication with each other. I really don't mean to be such an advocate for Facebook but isn't it easier to tell people things over the internet? Yes, but on that same token, internet confrontations are notorious for giving people balls of steel and they end up taking this too far (I know, I've Facebook fought before and the gloves come OFF!). Facebook is not the place to air your dirty laundry as much as it should be a meeting place for people with positive attitudes and a good head on their shoulders. It's a good way to see someone for who they really are (they can only put on airs for so long) and in turn, you are able to weed out the individuals that you may not see yourself meshing with quite so well. I think it's an integral tool to fostering fruitful relationships should they be platonic or more serious. I am also a computer nerd/junkie so that may not be surprising to hear from me, but what I do know is that I have been able to reunite (or be it unite for the first time) with some really fantastic females recently via Abbey's ingenious Book Club and I have been invited to an environment where we appreciate each other's inputs and want to know more about one another. We feel as though we operate as a whole unit and that every person involved is imperative to our success. I have my own problems with friendship and relationships, but when I'm with the girls of the book club I feel as though I belong and that I have found females who are open-minded and accepting of me for who I really am (I obviously don't hold back much, you could say I'm an open book! <wink>). Abbey's goal is to change the world's image of females and how they interact with one another leading by example. I came into the book club thinking Abbey was cool and I love to read and talk a lot, but I have luckily been let in on a secret world of so much more! Our vision won't reach everyone, but we'll be damned if we don't try!
-Miss Marla <3
What is social networking? Is it just a way to keep in touch and spy on ex boyfriends and frienemies? Or could it be a hugely resourceful stomping ground of people interconnected by (un)common interests as well as (dis)similar views and thoughts? I contemplate the meaning behind the term because my boyfriend Kevin is not a social networker and he, along with tons of other people, doesn't understand the draw. Many resolve that I am wasting my time and procrastinating on the internet while I could be doing something productive, and I'm just snooping around in other people's business. This is true! BUT, this statement takes away from the fact that the novelty of the internet and the web woven of contacts and connections has opened innumerable doors and windows for me. I have reconnected with people who are so similar to myself that it's uncanny, but they have new and different interests and hobbies that point me in a new direction that I wouldn't have gone down had I not rekindled a friendship with this person. Very vague, Marla. Can you give us an example of what you mean? I most certainly can! Today, I was registering for my second semester at UNM without a lot of directive help from my adviser that I waited 45 minutes to meet with, and I was desperate to get a better selection of classes than I had the previous semester because I felt like they were just filler classes and not really stimulating in the least bit. I was panic stricken because my silly self had misinterpreted 12 am on Dec 2nd to mean noon today and not midnight of last night and the classes I wanted were disappearing fast! I did the best I could on my own and then proceeded to contact some resourceful and knowledgeable friends of mine that I keep in fairly close contact with on Facebook (thank you tons Abbey and Roxie R., you saved my scholarly life!). Lo and behold, I was pointed in the right direction to solve my problem and relieve a huge stressor in my life. This brings me to the topic of how much using of your friends is appropriate? The phrase is often said, "he just used me for my <insert endowment of awesomeness here>" and it portrays an image of a person who is selfish and scavenging through friends to find the best things they have to offer, vehemently steal them away leaving the person blind sided in despair!! <maniacal laughter ensues> but what on Earth would you want a friend for if they had nothing positive to offer you? The thought comes to mind that you must offer something in return, right? I don't know exactly what I offer in return to my friends aside from comic relief and unwavering loyalty (shameless plug) but I'm curious if I should feel guilty having been so spoiled from the amazing people that I know? Facebook undoubtedly opened the doors for Abbey to start the book club and to invite me and change our humble little lives indefinitely! Abbey and I have a lot in common but I feel like she is brilliant and I look up to her in so many ways! She is an inspiration to me and I will gobble up all of the inspiration she offers incessantly in hopes that her inspiration fountain never runs dry! But am I absorbing too much? Am I unbalancing the scales of friendship? This is a hugely important topic to me because when my friendships go awry (which happens fairly often unfortunately) it's because I feel as though I am giving more than I am receiving and that I am under-appreciated, etc. But in friend world, isn't it a super sticky subject to bring up when the other friend isn't pulling their weight? In boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife world it's not a sticky subject because you know that dude(tte) loves you and wants to make you happy and make things work so they stick around even with all of your other-worldly demands, but when it comes to girlfriends it is an issue to tip-toe around because we as females I think are natural to assume we are in righthood at all times. We also have been trained to be overly competitive with other females and a constructive and friendly criticism is quickly misconstrued into an evil betrayal. The method to the madness of keeping friends seems to be just to make things undeniably wonderful at all times and never let them go bad. Be proactive on the things that you do or say to ensure that you are not overstepping your boundaries or slacking your friendly responsibilities. Doesn't it feel so different having girlfriends as an adult than it did as a kid? My best friend growing up which I hate to admit is far, far, far away from being my best friend now, and I used to be able to tell each other everything that was wrong and work out any and all problems through communication but in my adulthood, any and all times I have attempted to say what's on my mind I have been brutally rebuffed. The friendship that I thought was so iron-clad and infallible was soon on the edge of a cliff ready to slip into oblivion, and then I apologized for being such a ninny and retracted all of my issues so that a band-aid could be placed on the situation and I would try not to trip as I walked away with my tail between my legs and my head hung down low. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
All I know from this mindless and crazy rant thus far is that social networking is great in order to find ambitious, knowledgeable, and resourceful friends that are willing to help you in a jam, and that being friends with females is much more difficult than it used to be. Upon pondering the subject of fallen out friendships, I realize that I, to my own surprise, am much too passive due to (a. the responses I've gotten with confrontations with female friends in the past and (b. my training at T-mobile turned me into a doormat drone that had to put its most amiable face forward at all times and accept the abuse of the customer regardless of their tenacity and ruthlessness. What I mean by this is, that I don't say anything when my "friend" does something that upsets me (not to them anyways, but Kevin sure gets an earful!) and I continue to accept the mistreatment with a smile until I can't take it anymore and I sneak out of their life without a trace (Facebook makes things like that much easier!). This is not the proper way of managing things in any aspect, but I've been conditioned to this response. We need two to tango and we are both dancing, just not together. So we need to open a strong line of communication with each other. I really don't mean to be such an advocate for Facebook but isn't it easier to tell people things over the internet? Yes, but on that same token, internet confrontations are notorious for giving people balls of steel and they end up taking this too far (I know, I've Facebook fought before and the gloves come OFF!). Facebook is not the place to air your dirty laundry as much as it should be a meeting place for people with positive attitudes and a good head on their shoulders. It's a good way to see someone for who they really are (they can only put on airs for so long) and in turn, you are able to weed out the individuals that you may not see yourself meshing with quite so well. I think it's an integral tool to fostering fruitful relationships should they be platonic or more serious. I am also a computer nerd/junkie so that may not be surprising to hear from me, but what I do know is that I have been able to reunite (or be it unite for the first time) with some really fantastic females recently via Abbey's ingenious Book Club and I have been invited to an environment where we appreciate each other's inputs and want to know more about one another. We feel as though we operate as a whole unit and that every person involved is imperative to our success. I have my own problems with friendship and relationships, but when I'm with the girls of the book club I feel as though I belong and that I have found females who are open-minded and accepting of me for who I really am (I obviously don't hold back much, you could say I'm an open book! <wink>). Abbey's goal is to change the world's image of females and how they interact with one another leading by example. I came into the book club thinking Abbey was cool and I love to read and talk a lot, but I have luckily been let in on a secret world of so much more! Our vision won't reach everyone, but we'll be damned if we don't try!
-Miss Marla <3
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Origin of (Hopeful) Greatness
Dear Readers:
Last summer it dawned on me; I have no social life.
It's not surprising when you think about it. I'm a wife, mother of two, and full-time student. But it wasn't the absence of free time that bothered me, it was more about what I did in the precious free time I actually did have, which was absolutely nothing. Somewhere along the line I became ship-wrecked on Mom Island. Don't get me wrong, my family is the most important part of my life, but I wasn't even making an effort to have a life outside of them. Even all of my classes at the time were online. I was becoming a Grade A hermit, and it was staring to show. And not in a good way. I had less patience than usual (which is scary because I have so little to begin with!), little things bugged me more and I just had an overall aura of irritation. I was not very popular at my house, to say the least. I started a Mommy blog that was intended to be the hobby that I needed (and in a lot of ways it is) but it was still something I could do within the four walls of my house. I needed to get out.
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to read. I love the idea of traveling to another place or time period within a book. I love getting lost in a really great book, when all you want to do all day long is to pick that book back up. I love to write because I love to read. With the exception of my sister-in-law (who can literally read a book a day), I didn't know if there was anyone else out there who felt the same way I did. But I knew I was willing to find out. So I started a book club.
To call it a book club right off the bat would be generous. What it was initially was an unnamed Facebook group comprised of myself, three friends I thought might actually be interested, and about ten other people, basically chosen at random, in hopes that at least one or two of them may be interested in joining. To be social, but remain responsible to my family and school priorities, I decided that the book club would meet monthly and try to accommodate as many schedules as possible. I assigned the first book, "Julie and Julia" by Julie Powell because I had read it for a class and was really inspired by it. And also, to be honest, since I had never organized or hosted a book club before, I wanted to be able to focus on planning for it instead of worrying about finishing the book on time. Five people had RSVP'd yes to the meeting and I was beginning to get nervous. What would we talk about? What if people didn't get along?
As it turns out, I needn't have worried. No, not because everyone showed up and had a blast, but because thirty minutes until go time, my phone started to ring off the hook with everyone saying they couldn't make it. I was crushed, to say the least. There's nothing that makes you feel more pathetic than sitting in your house fully prepared to host a book club when it was evident that that book club isn't going to happen. It;s the party-hosting equivalent to being all dressed up with nowhere to go. Then, just when I was really beginning to wallow in being a book club failure, there was a knock on the door. It was my high school French class friend, Marla, out of breath and an hour late, but there nonetheless.
The funny thing is, I hadn't actually seen Marla in about ten years. As I mentioned, we became friends in high school French class and I adored her back then, but, like most people after high school, we fell out of touch. So in addition to being the first book club meeting, this was our first time being face-to-face in about a decade, although to be honest, it only felt that way for the first ten seconds. Marla is the same sweet, strong and hilarious person she was in high school, only even better. She's Marla 2.0 and I think we've made up for ten years worth of time in just the last four months (but more on that later!). We wound up spending hours catching up, and of course, talking about "Julie and Julia", which she loved and was equally inspired by. That night Marla became my partner-in-crime and official co-founder of the book club (and we decided that if our book club remained a book club of two, that was just fine with us!). I consider Marla the co-founder because if she hadn't come that night, it's highly likely that I would have given up on the idea of a book club entirely and gone back to being Crabby Hermit Mom. There would never have been a second meeting (or third, forth, five, and so on) without Marla.
We regrouped, licked our wounds from the first meeting, and set about organizing the second. Our second meeting went much better. We had a group of five and it turned out that people really did have legitimate reasons for not making it to the first meeting. By the third, we really hit our stride. Our book club is equal parts intelligent conversation, side-splitting laughter, and group therapy. We enjoy our books, our wine, and each others company. After only a couple of months, the book club was snowballing. I had other friends emailing me wanting to join and out-of-town friends who wanted to start their own book clubs. We began talking about possible names and prospective members. About this time Marla and I began the first in a series of endless conversations about accomplishing something important in life (thanks to Julie Powell and "Julie and Julia") how well the book club was going and where it had the potential to go.
Here's the thing: I hate the image of women right now. It's all about Snookie-style drunken cat fights, talking behind each others backs, and an overall focus on being hot, sexy, scandalous, blah blah blah. This isn't news to anyone, myself included, but for some reason, the image has effected me more in my twenties than any other time in my life. Maybe it's because I have a daughter and she is getting old enough to really take notice of the world around her, and it's becoming clear to me that it's just not enough to not fall into the stereotype of women myself. I want her to see an emphasis on intelligent women and for her to learn that putting women from different backgrounds with different beliefs in the same room does not have to result in a vodka-infused hair-pulling contest. Long story short, the growing, fun, diverse book club was beginning to run parallel with the incorrect image of female friendship. That's when we realized that this could be more than reading a book and drinking wine with friends once a month.
We want every woman to have a positive image of not only herself, but other women in general. Every time I leave a meeting, my sides hurt and my outlook on the world is a little brighter, and I want every woman to experience that. We don't have to be part of what we see on TV; we can be better. We can all be different people and have intelligent conversations but we can also joke around and enjoy our wine. No one is out to impress anyone else, so we can let our guards down be exactly who we are.
What began as a hobby in an attempt to regain a social life has evolved into something that feels like it could be a whole lot more. I don't want to come across as cheesy (although it may be too late for that!) but I think the world is only as good as what you contribute to it, and fighting the negative image of women with a positive one (even if it's only within our own community) feels proactive. We are encouraging anyone who is interested to join our chapter locally, or start a chapter in their area, wherever that may be.
I truly believe that together we can change the world, one book at a time.
Welcome!
Abbey Prentice
Last summer it dawned on me; I have no social life.
It's not surprising when you think about it. I'm a wife, mother of two, and full-time student. But it wasn't the absence of free time that bothered me, it was more about what I did in the precious free time I actually did have, which was absolutely nothing. Somewhere along the line I became ship-wrecked on Mom Island. Don't get me wrong, my family is the most important part of my life, but I wasn't even making an effort to have a life outside of them. Even all of my classes at the time were online. I was becoming a Grade A hermit, and it was staring to show. And not in a good way. I had less patience than usual (which is scary because I have so little to begin with!), little things bugged me more and I just had an overall aura of irritation. I was not very popular at my house, to say the least. I started a Mommy blog that was intended to be the hobby that I needed (and in a lot of ways it is) but it was still something I could do within the four walls of my house. I needed to get out.
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to read. I love the idea of traveling to another place or time period within a book. I love getting lost in a really great book, when all you want to do all day long is to pick that book back up. I love to write because I love to read. With the exception of my sister-in-law (who can literally read a book a day), I didn't know if there was anyone else out there who felt the same way I did. But I knew I was willing to find out. So I started a book club.
To call it a book club right off the bat would be generous. What it was initially was an unnamed Facebook group comprised of myself, three friends I thought might actually be interested, and about ten other people, basically chosen at random, in hopes that at least one or two of them may be interested in joining. To be social, but remain responsible to my family and school priorities, I decided that the book club would meet monthly and try to accommodate as many schedules as possible. I assigned the first book, "Julie and Julia" by Julie Powell because I had read it for a class and was really inspired by it. And also, to be honest, since I had never organized or hosted a book club before, I wanted to be able to focus on planning for it instead of worrying about finishing the book on time. Five people had RSVP'd yes to the meeting and I was beginning to get nervous. What would we talk about? What if people didn't get along?
As it turns out, I needn't have worried. No, not because everyone showed up and had a blast, but because thirty minutes until go time, my phone started to ring off the hook with everyone saying they couldn't make it. I was crushed, to say the least. There's nothing that makes you feel more pathetic than sitting in your house fully prepared to host a book club when it was evident that that book club isn't going to happen. It;s the party-hosting equivalent to being all dressed up with nowhere to go. Then, just when I was really beginning to wallow in being a book club failure, there was a knock on the door. It was my high school French class friend, Marla, out of breath and an hour late, but there nonetheless.
The funny thing is, I hadn't actually seen Marla in about ten years. As I mentioned, we became friends in high school French class and I adored her back then, but, like most people after high school, we fell out of touch. So in addition to being the first book club meeting, this was our first time being face-to-face in about a decade, although to be honest, it only felt that way for the first ten seconds. Marla is the same sweet, strong and hilarious person she was in high school, only even better. She's Marla 2.0 and I think we've made up for ten years worth of time in just the last four months (but more on that later!). We wound up spending hours catching up, and of course, talking about "Julie and Julia", which she loved and was equally inspired by. That night Marla became my partner-in-crime and official co-founder of the book club (and we decided that if our book club remained a book club of two, that was just fine with us!). I consider Marla the co-founder because if she hadn't come that night, it's highly likely that I would have given up on the idea of a book club entirely and gone back to being Crabby Hermit Mom. There would never have been a second meeting (or third, forth, five, and so on) without Marla.
We regrouped, licked our wounds from the first meeting, and set about organizing the second. Our second meeting went much better. We had a group of five and it turned out that people really did have legitimate reasons for not making it to the first meeting. By the third, we really hit our stride. Our book club is equal parts intelligent conversation, side-splitting laughter, and group therapy. We enjoy our books, our wine, and each others company. After only a couple of months, the book club was snowballing. I had other friends emailing me wanting to join and out-of-town friends who wanted to start their own book clubs. We began talking about possible names and prospective members. About this time Marla and I began the first in a series of endless conversations about accomplishing something important in life (thanks to Julie Powell and "Julie and Julia") how well the book club was going and where it had the potential to go.
Here's the thing: I hate the image of women right now. It's all about Snookie-style drunken cat fights, talking behind each others backs, and an overall focus on being hot, sexy, scandalous, blah blah blah. This isn't news to anyone, myself included, but for some reason, the image has effected me more in my twenties than any other time in my life. Maybe it's because I have a daughter and she is getting old enough to really take notice of the world around her, and it's becoming clear to me that it's just not enough to not fall into the stereotype of women myself. I want her to see an emphasis on intelligent women and for her to learn that putting women from different backgrounds with different beliefs in the same room does not have to result in a vodka-infused hair-pulling contest. Long story short, the growing, fun, diverse book club was beginning to run parallel with the incorrect image of female friendship. That's when we realized that this could be more than reading a book and drinking wine with friends once a month.
We want every woman to have a positive image of not only herself, but other women in general. Every time I leave a meeting, my sides hurt and my outlook on the world is a little brighter, and I want every woman to experience that. We don't have to be part of what we see on TV; we can be better. We can all be different people and have intelligent conversations but we can also joke around and enjoy our wine. No one is out to impress anyone else, so we can let our guards down be exactly who we are.
What began as a hobby in an attempt to regain a social life has evolved into something that feels like it could be a whole lot more. I don't want to come across as cheesy (although it may be too late for that!) but I think the world is only as good as what you contribute to it, and fighting the negative image of women with a positive one (even if it's only within our own community) feels proactive. We are encouraging anyone who is interested to join our chapter locally, or start a chapter in their area, wherever that may be.
I truly believe that together we can change the world, one book at a time.
Welcome!
Abbey Prentice
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